YuGiOh Addicts Anonymous
by Animagess
Summary: In the dark of Saturday night, twelve members meet to discuss their guilt and self-destruction from their obesession over one television show, whether it be re-runs, booster packs, or hot guys. Join them if you must, and just remember to review. A lot.
1. The Destination

An experimental little thing that I may or may not continue, depending on what people think.  
  
Oh yes, and there is another fic out there with nearly the exact same title as this one by duelpersonality (or something). They are nothing at all alike, so don't bug me or I'll do something that you won't enjoy. I mean it.  
  
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Chapter 1: The Destination  
  
One dark and stormy Saturday evening, if one looked down a certain backstreet of a certain non-existant town, there could be discerned four indistinct figures running through the falling rain.  
  
Keeping close to the alleyways and darting furtive looks to the side and over their shoulders, the tiny huddled group scampered over fences and took discreet shortcuts through other people's backyards.  
  
They could not afford to be caught by anyone who was not one of them.  
  
One of them stumbled, nearly falling face first into a mud puddle. Another supported the collapsing figure, and motioned for the others to go on without them. They would catch up.  
  
Worriedly, the other two slipped away between a hole in a nearby chain-link fence. The two who were left behind struggled on behind, one limping slightly. They had to hurry. They were nearly ten minutes late.  
  
Nobody outside of their group could know what they were up to, nor where they were headed. It was why their purpose was always cloaked under the dead of night, in the middle of the rain, when everyone else was sleeping and they could openly express their shame alone. Their secret must be kept preserved, on pain of death and no free pizza.  
  
And so it was after a long, labryinthine journey that the four arrived at their destination.  
  
It was nothing much to look at; a tiny, whitewashed affair, barely the size of a child's playhouse. But it was better than nothing, and at least the plumbing worked.  
  
The bedraggled group shivered in the cold rain, looking up at the address and consulting a ragged and soaked scrap of paper that one of them was holding. Finally, after a muted debate, one of them put out a hand and opened the door.  
  
The four trooped into the darkness beyond, while above their heads a dirty and faded sign proclaimed, in scrawled purple crayon:  
  
"Welcome to the YAA: YuGiOh Addicts Anonymous."  
  
And, directly under that:  
  
"Complimentary pizza every second gathering." 


	2. The Introductions

Chapter 2: The Introductions, Part One  
  
"You're seven minutes late."  
  
"No... Six and three seconds... Until the reruns start."  
  
"Get that stopwatch out of my face, Harold; you know nobody cares. ... Why HELLO there!"  
  
This last bit was directed at the four people who had just walked into the room, all drenched with rainwater and one whose trouser leg was all muddy.  
  
Blinking in the dark, they were motioned into brittle plastic chairs by the third speaker, who looked to be about sixteen years old. The others in the room looked about that age; some were younger, some were older, and a handful were undoubtedly already in colleges or universities. Counting the newcomers, there were about twelve all told, and this number was proving to be quite a stretch for the tiny room to accomodate.  
  
The chairs were arranged in a semi-circle facing a chalboard, which was empty save for the words "YGO Addicts Anonymous: Meeting #1".  
  
Below that, in a slightly more alarming scrawl, was "Exercise 1: Introductions".  
  
When everyone was comfortably seated, and the only sounds in the room was that of the water dripping off someone's raincoat, the teenage girl stood up to face them all.  
  
"Hello there, and welcome to our first meeting of the YAA." She smiled politey and dipped her head.  
  
Everyone looked at her, unsure of what to do next.  
  
"Since we are all here to discuss and hopefully remedy our problems, we shall start with introductions. Here, you shall each relate your name, a little bit about your background, and your history with your obsession. I'll introduce myself first, to show you all how it's done." She smiled, reassuringly. Everyone grinned back, weakly. One college student was staring bug-eyed at his stopwatch and fretfully tapping his foot; the others tried to ignore him.  
  
"My name is Eve. I was born in a loving home, with kind parents and siblings, and a good education. I lived in Ohio for many years, and everything was peaceful and good, for a time." Eve's face darknened, as she knew it was time to begin her heartwrenching tale of self-destruction. "And then, on my twelfth birthday... my six-year old cousin came to visit. He brought some video tapes with him, because his mother was afraid he would be bored with nobody his age to play with."  
  
There were a few gasps and "oh no"s from her audience. They all knew what was coming next.  
  
Eve nodded her head, sorrowfully. "You guessed it. Episodes five to nine, running time, two hours and a bit. I came into the room while he was watching it, and I never stood a chance. I was hooked for life." She threw her face to the ceiling, biting back bitter tears. "Curse you, little Stevie," she whispered dramatically. "Curse you and your cursed VHS."  
  
She went and sat down, her head held high, tears glittering on her cheek. The woman next to her reached over and awkwardly patted her shoulder. "That's how I was hooked, too," she whispered, comfortingly. Everyone else turned away.  
  
Sniffling, Eve looked grateful. "Thank you for your support." She pointed at a thin, skinny fifteen year old at the end of the row. "You next."  
  
The boy stood up and ambled to the front of the room. When he spoke, his voice was low and raspy. "My name is George. I grew up somewhere in Australia, so I had never heard of YuGiOh until I came to America. I was five years old, at that time." Everyone nodded sagely, apalled at this corruption of so young a youth. George went on.  
  
"At first, I lived without thinking much of it. But all my friends were into it. I was always left out, and I felt alone... So excluded..."  
  
His audience murmured darkly, shaking their heads. Adolescence was the perfect place for peer pressure and mass marketing to take hold.  
  
George went on, sadly. "It seemed so cool, and elite. I just wanted to try it, just once. I never thought that it would consume my soul to such a degree." There were pained looks exchanged. The woman who had been comforting Eve burst into tears.  
  
"I tried my first booster back when I was eleven. It was so perfect. It was a great feeling. The first card I drew from the pack-" And here George's voice took on a higher level of enthusiasm, "was a Summoned Skull. Now that may seem pretty rare to you, but 2500 Attack Points is nothing to scoff at. And none of my friends had him yet, because we were all so young and had blown all our money on bubble gum. But it was one this very card that I based my first Trap and Shadow theme deck on-"  
  
"All right already!" everyone shouted.  
  
"Yes, well, thank you, George. It already seems like we have a lot to work with." Eve smiled at the boy as he sat back down. She gestured to the teenage girl sitting next to him. "You next."  
  
The girl got up, black clothes rustling rebelliously. She stood at the front, glaring out over the group assembled before her.  
  
"My name is Tara. I grew up in Washington with two majorly sucky parents and an even suckier education. When they died, I could only go downhill from there. I worked for a while at McDonald's, until I turned on the television at my uncle's house...." Here the girl paused, readying herself.  
  
"...And now I think Kaiba is the sexiest man alive."  
  
"You lie!!" screamed another girl three seats down from Eve; she got up and threw herself at Tara, aiming for her throat. "Take it back!! Bakura is the one and only bishie!!" She raised her arms; she was wearing clothed identical to those of her favorite character. Everyone gasped in horror and sympathy. A small boy in the middle of the row tried to tuck his plastic Millenium Puzzle under his shirt.  
  
"Hmmm... Public cosplaying... Extremely agressive behaviour in defense of favorite character... Blatant use of Japanese terms in daily speech..." Eve mused, ignoring the two catfighting girls. She stood up and raised her hand. "How many here admit to having the type of obsession shown here?" she called.  
  
Guiltily, a twenty-something guy tremblingly raised his hand. Two other girls followed suit. Then, all except two of the girls had their hands in the air. Eve nodded smartly, and still managed to infuse some degree of sympathy into the action. "I see," she said, simply.  
  
Behind her, another girl had added herself into the fray, screaming "Malik is gonna kick all yo' foo' boy's pansy butts!!"  
  
"Guys and girls, we have a lot of work to do," Eve informed them all grimly. 


	3. More Introductions and Loose Alliances

Um, I guess I didn't mention that all the members here are fictatious and will probably stay that way... Sorry, Xing. I wanted all my characters to have boring/plain/common names, too. But I took note, and I'm really glad you like my stories! I'm so honoured... Sniff...  
  
P.S.: How come you don't have anything in your bio?  
  
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Chapter 3: More Introductions, and Loose Alliances  
  
After everyone had calmed down and were once again seated, the others introduced themselves with little trouble; although there were a few nasty glances shot back and forth between the girls.  
  
As Eve, George and Tara had already gone, the next up was the girl who had jumped on Tara for liking Kaiba. She fingered the plastic Millenium Ring around her neck as she stood at the front.  
  
"My name is Amy. I used to live in India, before I left because I wanted to live in the country that Bakura did-" "Ryou doesn't live in America!!" a young man four seats down from Eve shouted, angrily. "He's Japanese!! They're all Japanese!!" He rose to his feet, glowering. "The next thing you'll tell me is that Jonouchi's last name is Wheeler!!!" he screamed, pointing at Amy with a red face. Amy looked confused. "It's not?"  
  
Half of the members had to bar the young man's way as he started towards the frightened girl with a mad gleam in his eye. "Settle down, man. We'll get her after the meeting," one guy whispered discreetly, not wanting the others to hear.  
  
After Amy was finished, another girl came up. Her name was Sally and she said, in a suspiciously happy voice, that she had fallen under her addiction through a shonen-ai site which had linked her into it. She claimed to have no knowledge of the original production; just that the male characters "interacted so well". Other female members nodded understandingly, while the others looked vaguely disturbed.  
  
Then was Harold, a college student who had never, since the time of its release, skipped a single episode. His roomate had brought YuGiOh to their apartment one day by turning on the television, and that had been the start of Harold's growing obsession. He always carried a watch and an electronic TV guide that was updated online so that he never missed a single half hour. He knew all the lines of the first story arc by heart and knew most of the second.  
  
After informing everyone of these facts, Harold had then run crazily out of the building, screaming "TWO MINUTES AND ELEVEN SECONDS TILL EPPIE TWELVE!!!".  
  
"Well, there's no way he's getting any free pizza," Eve said, staring at the door. "But... but it's the dub..." the aforementioned young man was mumbling, shaking his head in apparent disbelief. "How could he watch such a thing..."  
  
Next was Ashley, the third girl to participate in the defense of her favorite character. Her addiction had started when a friend had shown her a screenshot of Malik; she never had cared about the actual plot, and the only episodes she had seen were those that contained Malik's face in them. Several derisive snorts were heard from the audience at this point, but Eve shushed them.  
  
Peter was another university student who confessed to downloading YGO hentai online. He looked so ashamed as he said this that Eve got up and hugged him while Sally graciously offered to relinquish her slice of pizza to him. However, he did claim to have an insanely high comprehension of what he called "the social and inter-spatial elements, the recurring themes of bondage and identity, and the relationship dynamics between mind and technology".  
  
Nobody dared question him on this point.  
  
Brian was a small boy interested in collecting cards and putting them inside plastic containers. Nobody paid him much attention, although George overheard Amy whispering to another girl that she thought him "kawaii".  
  
Shantelle, like Amy, thought Bakura to be the love of her life. On the other hand, she hated "Tea" with a passion. At the mention of the word "Tea", the young man who had reacted so violently to Amy's use of the term "Wheeler" got red in the face again, but managed to keep himself under control.  
  
Simone, a Yami Yugi-obsessive college girl who kept playing with her glasses, was intrigued by the Egyptian parallels and knew most of the history behind YuGiOh. She also read and wrote shonen-ai fanfiction on- line.  
  
So did a second girl, Pamela, who whooped when Simone laid bare her confession. Pamela was also a merchandise junkie, which was also apparent by the multitude of YGO-related objects dangling from her clothes and backpack. She also read extensively from the manga version, and had comprehensive knowledge of both anime and manga plot lines.  
  
The last one to introduce themselves was Jay, a young man with a highly strong objection towards the dubbed version. He appeared to be close friends with Peter the Pervert.  
  
After everyone was finished, they all sat around and stared at eachother dumbly, not knowing what to do next. Eve, however, seemed like she had something planned.  
  
"Alright! That's all the time we have for today, folks!" she said brightly, interuppting the random glares and casual glances the other members were giving eachother. "Hey," Shantelle interjected, "what about the pizza?"  
  
"That's every second meeting. Time's up.. See you next week!" Eve ushered them all out into the rain, then shut the door after them.  
  
"I think she lives there," Simone whispered to Pamela as they exchanged e-mail addresses. Meanwhile, Jay and Peter went off to hassle Amy about her ignorance, while she in turn ran angrily after Ashley and Tara to try and convince them of their bad taste in bishounen.  
  
George wandered nonchalantly over to Brian. "Hey. Do you have Salamandras?" 


End file.
